Life is better as a zombie.

So you’re hungry for brains all the time, and you’re kind of slow and ineffectual about procuring them. And yeah, your limbs are kind of stiff and swing from side to side, and maybe you do drag your right foot so much that you start wearing down the tread on the sole. Plus, ok. Your clothes kind of suffer from all the bloody rips.

But everywhere you go, you bring people joy! All you have to do is lurch past them humming, “brains brains brains,” or gently moaning a tuneless song, and smiles and laughter appear from out of nowhere. Kids explode into shocked giggles. People snap pictures of you like you’re a famous rock star, and follow you around saying things like, “This is so cool!” You don’t have to pay any attention to traffic lights or walk signals, because grinning cops make sure no one runs you down. You can stumble over to the windows of buses and slaver at the people inside, and no one complains about the bloodstains you leave on the glass. If you’re feeling naughty, you can almost always get someone to jump out of their skin by looking for the ones that haven’t noticed you yet and falling into their path with a gurgle. And best of all, you don’t have to worry about how you look or what you say. It’s all good when you’re a zombie — no egos, no political or emotional baggage, no self-esteem or anxiety issues.

The protesters who hold up “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Gblaaaaaargh!” posters are kind of lame, though. And they’re wrong about zombies bringing down property values. I mean, we free up all kinds of land for schools and shops and things — no cemeteries necessary!

More pictures here. I miss my zombiefly life already.